The reason not to spend the night at Kyo's place
by KinkyEyepatchShit
Summary: On a normal outing, Kazu meets the strangest girl, who claims that her father got lost. It seems that his parents know this strange man, and invite him and his daughter to spend the night. Chaos insues. Plz read and review. No flames please. thnks.


Disclaimer: Don't own ANYTHING Samurai Deeper Kyo. I only own my oc's. got that memorized?

A/N: So the plot bunny bit me again. I was thinking, 'aw Kenji is so adorable. He needs a playmate.' So he's gonna get one, in the form of a hyper-active blond who likes to 'accidentally' light annoying people on fire. Hm, I wonder whose kid this could possibly be. Lol. I have officially changed Kenji's name to Kazuki. It sounds cuter. Kazuki is about 10 and the girl, Sora, is a year older than him. So Please read and review. No flames, yadda, yadda. On to the story!

**The Reason Not to Spend the Night at Kyo's  
**

It was a peaceful sunny day, the young red haired boy walked slowly home from his lessons, his wooden sword resting lazily against his shoulder.

"Mou, this is so boring," he complains aloud to himself, "Doesn't anything exciting happen in this place anymore?"

As he walked past a tall tree, something strikes him on the head.

"Ow!" he says, frowning and rubbing his sore head, 'What was that?'

A giggle alerts him to the presence in the tree above, and another stone colliding painfully with the top of his skull.

Glancing up, he sees a girl sitting in one of the branches, chuckling at him, tossing a stone into the air.

"Hi there!" she calls cheerfully, waving her free hand at him.

Kazuki scowls, "So I take it you were the one throwing the stones?" he states.

The blond nods, "Yep! That was me!" she replies.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in the tree?" asks Kazuki irritably, green eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Well my name's Sora, and I'm in this tree tryin' to find my dad," she explains, scratching the back of her blond head.

"You got lost?" asks Kazuki, a crimson eyebrow raised.

Sora scowls at him, "Why does everyone think that? No, I'm not the one who got lost, my dad did. He gets lost a lot."

Kazuki sweatdrops, 'How lame,' he thinks.

Sighing, he makes his decision, "I have no idea why these words are about to come out of my mouth, but do you to come to my house? My parents and I can help you look for your father," he says.

The girl brightens, "Really?! Ok! Let's go!" she says, and immediately leaps from the tree.

Nearly giving Kazuki a heart attack in the process, "YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" he shouts in shock, eyes wide as he watches he drop to the ground, miraculously landing on her feet.

Sora blinks in confusion, "I was getting out of the tree, obviously. Now, off to your house!" she says cheerfully, pumping her arms in the air. "By the way, what's your name?" she asks.

"My name is Shiina Kazuki," he replies.

Sora beams, "Kaz-chan!" she says excitedly.

Kazuki sighs, "What have I gotten myself into," he mutters to himself, "And don't call me that!"

He then takes a better look at the strange girl he found in the tree.

She wasn't dressed in a kimono like normal girls, but in boys' clothes; a white shirt, a short red jacket over that, a pair of fading black shorts, and sandals. The tall ones. He noted she was taller than him with the shoes. Her pale blond hair was pulled into a bun with flower decorated chopsticks holding it in place at the back of her skull. Bright sky blue eyes, which no doubt she was named after, glanced around the street excitedly at the people who passed.

"Ne, ne, are we there yet?" she pipes up suddenly, jolting the redhead out of his thoughts.

Kazuki nods, "Yeah, just a few more houses down," he replies.

And once they get there, he takes a deep breath and opens the door, "I'm home," he calls to however was there to hear it.

"KAZUKI! Welcome home!" greets his mother, Yuya, happily, rushing over to her son and enveloping him in a bone crushing hug, effectively squishing him between her bosom.

"MOTHER! YOU HAVE TO STOP DOING THIS WHENEVER I WALK IN THE DOOR!" he shouts angrily, though his angry protest was muffled by his mothers, er, assets.

"I can't help it if I'm happy to see my only son!!" she replies, oblivious to her guest, who stared silently at the mother/son exchange.

The ditzy mother finally notices the nervous girl, "Oh? And who is this? Does my little boy finally have a girlfriend?" she asks, releasing her son and leaning over to get a better look at the now blushing girl.

"She is NOT My girlfriend!" shouts Kazuki, a hot blush rising to his cheeks.

"Sure she isn't, now aren't you going to introduce us?" asks Yuya, completely ignoring her sons annoyed look.

Kazuki sighs and shakes his head, "Mom, this is Sora, Sora this is my mom, Shiina Yuya," he says, gesturing to the beaming bounty huntress turned housewife.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Sora-chan! Now, what brings you to my home, hmm?" she asks curiously.

"Well Shiina-san, my father is lost," replies Sora.

"Don't you mean you got lost dear?" asks Yuya.

Sora frowns, "No, my father got lost. He has a really crappy sense of direction," she explains.

"Oh, heh, that sounds like someone I know. Now, where was the last place you saw him?" asks Yuya.

"We were in the market place, and he was buying some food. I turned away for a second and he was gone. I looked all over, but I couldn't find him. So I climbed into a tree to get a birds' eye view, and that's where I met Kaz-chan," explains the girl.

Yuya frowns, "Hm. Well I suppose we can go out and look for him. I'd better go get Kyo, that's my husband, and bribe, uh I mean, convince him to help," she says, hurrying into the hall that led to their bedroom.

Sora glances at Kazu, "Your mom is weird. But kinda cool," she says.

Kazu sighs, "Yeah, she's helpful in the most frightening of ways: she can get my dad to do something he doesn't want to with very minimal effort on her part," he replies.

Grumbling in the hall alerts the kids to the approaching adults, "Psh, why the hell am I helping this brat again?" asks a male voice.

"Because I won't do that _thing _for you again if you don't. Now stop being such an ass Kyo, and help this poor girl out," replies Yuya sharply, and with that the two adults emerge from the hall; Yuya looking as cheery as ever, running a hand through her blond hair, and Kyo, looking like he'd rather be doing anything than helping some kid find her dad.

"Sora-chan, this is my husband, Kyo. He's willing to help you find your father," say Yuya.

Kyo grumbles under his breath and scratches at his short, blood red hair.

"Kyo? As in Demon Eyes Kyo, Killer of a thousand men?" asks the blond girl curiously.

The red haired man raises' an eyebrow, "What of it? It's not like you can do anything brat," he says boredly.

Sora grins, "My dad has talked about you a lot," she replies.

"Oh? And who is your father? Some weak dumbass that I beat?" asks Kyo, a bit interested, but of course, doesn't show it.

Sora scowls, "No, my dad is"

She's cut off by a heavy knock at the door.

Yuya glances from child to adult, "Oh no, don't bother, I'll get the door," she says sarcastically, and quickly marches over to the door, wrenching it open a bit irritably.

"WHAT IS IT?!" Ok. Very irritably. Must be the leftover baby hormones. Though they should have left. It has been ten years or so.

"Yeah, have you seen…. Wait. I know you. You're…" the blond man pauses, brows knit together in thought.

"I'm Shiina Yuya, Kyo's wife. Come in Hotaru. What are you doing here, it's been eleven years," says Yuya, beckoning the ever dazed man inside.

At hearing the name Hotaru, Sora immediately brightens, "DADDY!" she calls excitedly, rushing over to the man leaping into his arms, throwing her small arms around his neck, "I found you!" she says happily.

"I'm the one who found you. Why do you always have to wonder off like that?" he replies, setting the girl on the ground gently.

Sora frowns, "You're the one who wondered off. I was just there minding my own business and when I turn back around you're gone. Baka," she explains.

Hotaru grumbles a bit, "I'm not a baka. It's not like to call otou-san names," he says.

In the meantime, Yuya was staring at the two other blondes, speechless for once, mouth open, but no words coming out, and Kyo was, well, staring emotionlessly at the two.

Kazu stares at the two, in a state similar to his mothers' except his mouth wasn't gaping open. His eyes were just really wide.

"Well talk about ironic. I never thought I'd see the day where you had one of these little monsters of your own, clinging to you and calling you daddy," comments Kyo smugly.

Hotaru smiles softly, "Kyo, it's been awhile. And don't forget, you have one too," he replies.

"I'm not a monster," grumbles Sora sourly, arms crossed over her chest,

"Yeah, neither am I!" agrees Kazu, frowning at his quite smug father.

Yuya finally recovers from her shock, "Hotaru, tell me, how did you manage to settle down? What, with all your training and trying to beat Kyo?" she asks.

"Finally tired of gapping around like a fool, dog face?" says Kyo, smirking at his wife.

Yuya shoots him a dangerous glare, which promised no sex that night, "Shut up Kyo."

Hotaru glances at the two, "I don't really remember what she looked like, but three years after that, this woman comes to the room I was staying in and shoves this kid into my arms and tells me it's mine and the mother died of….I don't really remember. And that's it really," he explains.

Yuya stares, "Why am I not surprised?" she mutters.

The blond man shrugs, "No idea. But if you don't mind, can we stay here for a bit?" he asks.

"I suppose you could. Let me just make up a few beds for you guys, and make dinner," says Yuya, rushing off to her duties.

"You've really made her into a housewife," he comments to Kyo, golden eyes trailing after the frantic woman.

"I had nothing to do with that. That happened after the brat was born. I just sit back and let her do her thing. But if she interferes with me, I show her who's boss," replies the redhead, "And how could you tell the brat was yours?" he adds.

"She looks just like me, besides the eyes, and other than that, I have no idea," explains Hotaru

"You're totally whipped dad," pipes up Kazu

Hotaru snorts, which suspiciously sounded like a laugh, as Kyo glares at his son, "You don't know what that even means, brat," he snaps.

"Yeah I do! It means you do whatever mom wants, to make sure she doesn't get mad or give you the look," replies Kazu.

"So how did you manage to meet this one?" asks Hotaru, directing his attention to the girl.

Sora grins, "I was up in a tree looking for you, and then I saw him walking under it, so I threw a rock at him to get his attention!" she explains.

"Hm. Good job," praises' Hotaru, patting her on the head.

"How is that good?!" snaps Kazu irritably, glaring at the two blonds.

"…I forgot," replies Hotaru, making the two children sweatdrop.

Shortly afterwards, Yuya called them for dinner.

"Hey! Tell us a story about your Shiseiten days!" demands Kazu excitedly.

Kyo glances at him from behind the giant bowl of rice, "Who told you about that?" he asks.

Yuya stares accusingly at Hotaru, who blinks and says, "Don't look at me. I've told Sora stories, and she probably blabbed to this one," he says, jerking a thumb at Kazu, who in return scowls back at the fire-wielder.

"There shall be no stories! They're all too violent and vulgar for you," says Yuya sternly, passing a suspicious looking substance to Kyo.

The redhead in turn eyes it, "What the hell is this?" he asks.

"It's dango," replies Yuya nonchalantly.

"Ooooh! Dango!" says Sora excitedly, eyes wide with eagerness (is that even a word?).

"I wouldn't eat it if I were you," pipes up Kazu, "You'll be sick for days."

Yuya glares at her son, "Are you saying your mothers' cooking tastes bad?" she accuses dangerously.

Kazu blinks at her innocently, and shovels more rice into his mouth, "No, I'm saying it makes people sick, to the point of death," he says after he finished swallowing.

"GRRR! You're just like your father! Ungrateful and rude!" snaps Yuya, shooting an angry look at her husband, who pointedly ignores it and takes a sip of sake.

"You know, the least you could have done was offer me some sake, Kyo," says Hotaru, almost crossly.

"I would have, but too many bastards are sneaking into my house when I'm not at home, and take advantage of my wife's hospitality, meaning they break into my supply and drink it all," replies Kyo darkly.

"Oh, so Bon and those other guys have been here a lot then," deadpans Hotaru.

Kazu shudders, "Please don't remind me. I'm still trying to get images of a drunk, naked Tora out of my mind," he mutters.

Kyo's eyebrow noticeably twitches irritably as he sets down his chopsticks, "What have I told you about bringing that incident up boy? Especially at the table?" he says sternly.

Hotaru decides to change the subject, "So does Akari know about this one?" he asks, gesturing wordlessly to Kazu once again.

"Thankfully, no," replies Yuya.

"Oh, kami-sama save us," mutters Sora, shaking her head.

Yuya glances at her, "Why do you say that Sora-chan?" she asks.

Sora gives the blond a look of pity, "Well the first time I met him, er, her, it went like a little something like this…."

-Flashback Thingy-

"Oh? And who is this?" asks the cheerful pink haired woman, staring at the small seven-year-old blond girl curiously.

Hotaru blinks, "This is my daughter, Sora. Now what do you want? And before you ask, no, I have no idea where Kyo is," he says.

Akaris' eyes widen considerably, "You have a daughter? Oh, she's so cute! It's a wonder you actually had sex, let alone produced a child from it!" she exclaims, advancing upon the helpless child, leaving Hotaru to stare at her.

"Come here darling! I'm your auntie Akari!" says the 'woman', pinching the childs' cheeks, and then envelope her in a bone crushing hug.

"Tou-san!" Whines Sora desperately as she's pressed against padding, er, breasts.

Hotaru on the other hand, continues to stare, then finally snaps out of it once he realizes his only child is being crushed to death by one of his former companions, "Akari, now that I think about it, I know where Kyo is," he pipes up.

Akari immediately drops Sora and focuses her attention on the blond man, "Really? Where is he? Hmm?" she asks eagerly.

-End flashback-

"And that's how I somehow managed to lead her on a wild goose chase," says Hotaru.

"I swear if she really finds us, I'm going to kill you Hotaru," threatens, surprisingly, Yuya.

"She won't. And even if she does, you can always throw your child into the lions den, so to speak," replies Hotaru.

Kyo smirks thoughtfully, "That's actually not such a bad idea," he muses.

"KYO! What the hell is wrong with you?!" exclaims Yuya, followed by, "Yeah, how could you leave your child to some crazy person to save yourself?!" from Kazu.

"Oh believe me, I can do that quite easily," replies Kyo.

"You really are a bastard, Kyo," comments Hotaru, chuckling softly.

"Ch. At least I haven't gone soft like you," retorts the redhead.

Hotaru shrugs, "Hm. I don't mind so much as I thought I would at first," he replies, glancing at his daughter as she adamantly chatters away to a still glowering Kazu.

Yuya clears her throat, "Alright, bedtime everyone!" she says.

"Aw, they never told us any stories!" whines Sora with a pout.

"Yes I did, I told you about how I saved you all from Akari," explains Hotaru.

"I was there, I saw it all!" retorts Sora, "And all you did was talk to her! There was no killing or anything! And no lighting things on fire! What kind of story has none of that!" she adds.

Kyo raises' an eyebrow, "She's a fire-wielder too?"

Hotaru nods, "Yeah. One day we were just walking along, and she sneezes and this log nearby bursts into flames," he says.

"How bout you kids help me clear the table and I'll get these two to tell you a story?" asks Yuya, grabbing an empty plate and bringing it to the kitchen.

The children nod in agreement and immediately rush to help her.

"How do you possibly plan to 'get us' to tell them a story?" asks Kyo.

"Oh, I have my ways," replies Yuya lowly, winking at her husband, and then returning to the kitchen to supervise the two children.

"Well then. That was interesting," comments Hotaru.

Twenty minutes and three broken plates later, the children lay on their futons, which were pushed together for their story time,

"And that is how we saved Bon from cannibals," finishes Hotaru.

Kazu frowns, "Did that really happen, or did you just make that up?" he asks.

Kyo smirks, "Oh, it happened alright. But don't take that morons' word for it. He has a tendency to brag about his legend, and will never admit to almost being eaten," he replies.

"Now go to sleep, or the cannibals will bite," says Hotaru, ruffling his daughters' hair and grinning at the red haired child.

"I bite people all the time," mutters Kazu, "what kind of story was that?"

"Yeah, but you don't eat people. And if you did, well, I doubt they'd taste very good," says Kyo amusedly as the two men leave the room, sliding the door closed behind them.

Yuya grins at them once they enter the hall, "Bontemaru-san almost got eaten, huh?" she says.

"It really happened," replies Kyo, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Now, the question is, should I cover my ears tonight?" pipes up Hotaru, glancing between the couple.

"Oh no, of course not. He's not getting off that easy," replies Yuya, tugging her husband along to their bedroom, "I'm not going to forget those comments he made today."

In the middle of the night, interrupting him from a wonderful dream of lighting Shinrei on fire, a slight weight at the side on his futon pulls Hotaru from the land of slumber, and cracking open a bleary golden eye, he's met with a heap of pale blond hair as the owner of said hair shoots under his blankets and curls into his side.

He sighs, "What's the matter?" he asks groggily, rolling onto his side until he was facing her.

"Kyo-oji-san and Yuya-san are making too much noise," is the soft reply.

Hotaru blinks in confusion, suddenly aware of the conversation he had with the couple only hours ago.

And then he hears the thump from a few rooms over, and a low moan.

"They should stop soon," he says reassuringly.

"Are you sure?" asks Sora, poking her head from beneath the covers to peer questionably at her father.

'No' was what he really wanted to say, but knowing that's not the right thing to say, he nods, and pulls the covers over the two of them.

He finally drifts back to sleep a few moments later, dreaming of finally killing Bon, after the large man eats the last of his dango.

Just as he slices at Bons' head, he feels a weight at the other side of his futon, and cracking a single eye open, he spots a head of dark red hair disappear beneath his blankets, and another small body curl into his side.

"I wish they would shut up," mutters the boy as a particularly loud cry rips through the night air.

"Is it always like this?" asks Hotaru sleepily, blinking.

"Yes," replies Kazu, glaring at him through the dark.

Deciding to ignore the cries of passion from the room of the couple, Hotaru drifts back to sleep again, intent on finally destroying his brother.

And a few hours later, it was morning, and Yuya cheerfully came to rouse the sleepers.

Getting quite a few choice words from the three.

"Next time, warn us when you're going to be up half the night doing kami knows what," mutters Kazu angrily, glaring up at his parents through bloodshot green eyes.

"Never again are we spending the night, and even if we do, you two are in separate rooms the whole night," snaps Sora, equally angry.

Kyo ignores them, but looks on amusedly as Yuya blushes a deep shade of crimson.

"Well I would say it's been fun, but that'd be lying," says Hotaru as he and Sora stand outside, ready to depart.

"If you weren't such an old man, you'd understand," says Kyo smugly.

"Kyo, you're older than me, and two, I get plenty. On the other hand, I don't have a wife who uses that as bait," replies Hotaru, just as smug.

The children stare at them confusedly.

"Can we come visit again sometime, daddy?" asks Sora, "Not spend the night, but just hang out during the day," she adds hurriedly.

Hotaru shrugs, "Yeah, if they don't mind. Plus, I doubt even Yuya will kick us out," he replies.

Yuya smiles, "You're both welcome any time. Just make sure you're not being followed by Akari," she says.

Hotaru turns, "See you later," he says.

"Bye," replies Kyo, placing his pipe to his parted lips.

"Have a safe journey," calls Yuya.

Sora pauses mid step and turns back to the family. Smiling, she rushes to Kazus' side, "Remember, I'm the only girlfriend you'll have, got it?" she says, pecking him gently on the cheek.

Yuya chuckles as she watches her son blush a shade of red as deep as his hair and stare at the girl as she follows after her father, who looks on, amused.

Hotaru meets the childs eyes with a look that says, 'Girlfriend huh? Over my dead body.'

"Well would you look at that? He's just like me when it comes to women," comments Kyo as he watches the two finally fade into the distance.

"I'm nothing like you!" shouts Kazu angrily, the blush still on his face.

Kyo chuckles deeply and goes back inside, content to tease his son,

"DAD! QUIT IT! SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"Just wait, in four years, you'll be batting all the girls away, and only she'll be able to get near you," says Kyo, oblivious to his sons' outburst.

"DAAAADD!!!!"

"Oh Kazu stop shouting, you know your father's just teasing!," says Yuya calmly, "But one day, I bet you'll warm up to Sora real quick. She'll be a very beautiful young woman by then," she continues.

"NOT YOU TOO!"

End…..

AHA! I really enjoyed writing that. Especially the scene where Kyo and Yuya were getting it on and the kids were like 'make it stop!' I kno Taru was REALLY ooc, but I mean, im sure having a kid changes everything…even for him. And Akari being her usual eccentric self just adds to the…weirdness.I kno the paragraphing is a lil messed up, please forgive me for that. Somehow it always get screwed up when i submit the story. Anywho, I'm sure there will be a sequel is anyone wants to know, and a few more side stories of the children of Kyo's group. So please read and review!

HotIceRed


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